Tag Archives: xmas


I’m finding it amazing the lengths parents are going to prove Santa really has been.

I’m lucky.  L doesn’t really understand and O doesn’t care as long he gets boob.

I suppose I never really stopped believing in the magic of Christmas as mum always made it special with her treasure hunts and string trails and present hiding.  To this day she still does a Santa’s sack of bits for me.  The magic was there.  At 29 I could still imagine the fat man squeezingin our house and dropping off at least some of this stuff.

Now my eldest is aware of Santa.  She might not understand but she’s aware.  She knows that something massive is going to happen in the morning and that she wants a piece of it.

So now my illusions are totally shattered.

The requests for whiskey, mince pies and carrots all came from us.  I had to wrap all the presents.  I had to pay for all the presents.  No elves were involved at all. 

I feel empty knowing that when I go to bed tonight after leaving their sacks in the front room and a present in the bedroom that nothing else will appear.  No more parcels will magically arrive.

I don’t like being Santa.


Christmas eve

I’m going to join everyone else and write a quick blog about Christmas eve.

We are almost ready.  Well, we are pretty ready.

Father Christmas finished wrapping all the presents tonight, and tomorrow night we are going to my mums too eat Brie and nibbles.

Now I can’t wait.

I cannot wait to see her beaming face when she opens the noisey presents she has been bought.

I cannot wait for her to be hyper on too much chocolate.

I just absolutely cannot wait for the whole day to overwhelm my kids.

I love how Christmas with kids brings out the big kid in us.

Crappy Christmas

It’s not even Christmas day yet and things have gone down the shitter.

There are family things going on so the normal Xmas eve gathering is cancelled.

The Toddler actually wants to fight about everything. 

O is teething.

OH and I have already spent too long in each others’ company and are bitching at each other. He’s been home one day.

OH bought me an EEE pad and I don’t like it.  Not ungratefully. I’m just disappointed by it so far and will probably stick to one finger typing on my phone.  Sigh.

It’s definitely me.

Dear Father Christmas

Now, I know I should start by asking for world peace, but I’m not going to. Mainly because peace would be boring. We all need a bit of drama (by drama I mean “Oh shit the washing machine has packed up” and not “Oh shit my house is being attacked.” If you can stop the second one, then yes, please do that!)

I’m rambling.

Anyway, Santa, please please can you fix O’s wheeze?  That would be an awesome present for us.  Get the elves to invent an Unwheezer and come over and deal with it.  They must be able to do that right?  It would definitely make things better.

Can you also bring lots of boxes? Boxes hold stuff. We have a lot of stuff but not enough boxes. Boxes would be good.

And last but not least, please can you ask the housework fairy to come and clean. Just once.  I should be able to keep on top of it after the first big clean, I just don’t have enough time to do the big clean myself.

Lots of love

Ranty Beast Desk Monkey

The anti-Santa

My house is full of shit.

Not literal shit. Just crap that we don’t use.

And in one week, Father Christmas and my mother are going to make sure it’s filled with even more shit.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful (well, maybe a little!) but I just cannot stand the junk any longer.

So today, I got out some black sacks and I cleared out all of my maternity clothes that no longer fit.  I got rid of the mountain of soft toys in her room.  I whittled down the toys in the living room, bagging up any she doesn’t play with or are just too irritating. 

I’m mean. I’ve left bare bones.  I’m ready for the influx.

It’s only more stuff to be dumped in the loft next year!