Tag Archives: sick anxiety

Happy freakin’ birthday.

Today I turned 30.

And failed.

I was fine this morning, been fine all day, then at about 3 I felt like my head needed something but didn’t know what, and everything became surreal.

I was pretty sure it was some kind of panic reaction to the classroom and I figured that I would get over it.  So, I packed my bags, mum came over, I went to the loo…all the normal things.  My head still felt like someone had stuffed my nose with cotton wool but I tried to carry on regardless.

Took a wrong turn on the way to college, and realised that maybe the fluffiness should be listened to.  O had a bad night last night and I thought it was a reaction to this mixed with the panic about panics in the classroom. 

Got to college, got changed, tummy grumbled, sat on loo…yep.

Not pleasant.

So I went to explain to my tutor who sent me home.

But now I feel awful, and not just because my tum is gurgling unhappily and my face actually aches but because I’ve seen this before.  This is so important and I’m cross I didn’t stay.  I can’t drop out. I have to do this.  At the moment I’m so busy feeling like I’ve let everyone down tonight that I just can’t see the bigger picture. 

I think I really need to sleep.

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