Tag Archives: pregnancy

12th June 2009


Pregnant and messy.


Two minutes later: clothed, pregnant and even more messy. (Are you starting to see how my house got turned into a shit tip?)


Party time

Borrowing photos from Facebook probably shouldn’t be allowed but I only have a set of pictures of other people from this party so I’ve resorted to cropping one of myself from facebook.   This is a representation of a set of pictures:


I look a little bit insane.  I’m also 18 weeks pregnant here and felt huge even though unless you knew how skinny I was before you wouldn’t be able to tell I was expecting at all.

Anyway, this party.  It was the birthday of one of the guys I used to work with.

One of my friends got very drunk and puked sambuca in our toilet which made me hurl.

It was a good night.

Pee stick part 2


As if seeing one positive urine test isn’t enough to put you off your dinner today I’m bringing you another one.

The one from O? I hear you cry hopefully, fingers crossed that this will be our last foray into positive pregnancy tests.

Alas you are not that lucky.

This is the test I did to check I was still pregnant a couple of days after the first test in 2008/2009.  It may have even been done in response to the bleeding.

Still positive.

I convinced myself that it was all over.  I even looked up keepsakes on the internet to try and find something suitable to wear to remember.

I had a Quality Street tin where I kept the tests and a coat I bought to remember “August” by in case he or she were never meant to be.  (August being my estimated due date based on my own calculations).

In January 2009 I had my first scan as I had been bleeding for a week or so.

We saw the heartbeat on the screen, and described it as being similar to a flicking cursor.  We are geeks.

It made me happy and terrified and super moody.

My EDD was the 2nd of September; the day before OHs birthday.  I joked that because I was giving him a kid for his birthday he wouldn’t be getting video games.

I actually can’t remember if I bought him anything.

Don’t get excited – it’s an old picture


Recently, as part of my get-the-fuck-organised drive I’ve been trying to sort out my million and one stashed pictures and get them uploaded so I don’t have to worry about losing them forever if hardware fails.  Which it does. Regularly.

So, last year my blog was lacking images.  Only an average of three images were uploaded a month.  Now we can’t have that when I have approximately 5000 images from the past two years lurking about so I’m bringing them to you, each one with a little bit of waffley back story much like this.

The first one (ie this one) is pretty self explanatory.

The pee stick that heralded the start of my adventure in parenting.

It was December 28th 2008.  I had spent Christmas eve drunk on wine with a ciggy hanging out of my mouth constantly.  I had had a sudden drunken thought that evening – “I shouldn’t be doing this as I’m pregnant.” But I brushed it off because I think all kinds of crazy shit after a glass of red.

Then I had spent Christmas day stuffing my face and drinking pomeau in the kitchen away from the children.  There was a forehead thermometer and we were all being checked.  Green if your temperature is normal, amber if you’re a bit too hot and red if you should probably be in bed keeping your bloody lurgy to yourself.

Everyone else was green.  I was amber.

I had another drunken thought.

Then I finally braved the pee stick.  After months and months (18 of them!) of trying and failing, I didn’t expect the instant positive.

I cried hysterically and called to OH “you had better come and see this Daddy.”

The bleeding started on New Years Eve.  I did not have an easy ride.

Anyway, it all worked out.  She was fine and is now a lively two year old.

Panic attacks

So, we’re back to this again are we?

I grew up having panic attacks where I would feel extreme nausea.  Mostly when going out to eat (caused by a poor relationship with food) but also during exams, concerts, performances, classroom sessions at work..

I never wrote about it because I thought it was weird and freaky and that people would laugh at the skinny girl who didn’t want to eat, then poke fun at my strange food relationship and cause me a lot more distress!

I controlled the attacks pretty well. I would sit down to eat, will an attack on and then fight it off by eating little mouthfuls or scratching my hand or just talking.  Then I would be fine, knowing I was in control.

When I fell pregnant with the Toddler, the attacks stopped completely. I ate. All the time. Everywhere. The freedom was exhilarating.

It lasted a short while afterwards then they returned and I retrained myself in controlling them.

Sadly, when I was pregnant with O I was ill with stomach bugs twice. And his feet were resting on my stomach for the majority of the 3rd trimester making me nauseous all the time.  Instead of normalising the feeling to a background level, it has bought the attacks on worse.  Now I worry when I feel sick that I won’t be able to control it because I’ve actually got a bug and I’m going to spend the next 12 hours with my head in the toilet bowl while simultaneously shitting myself. Lovely, I know.

On Wednesday we went to OH mums for dinner. I’d spent the last few days feeling dodgy – caused by the current stress of everything I’m guessing.  I ate dinner. All of it. Drank tea…then for the next few hours felt sick and ended up with my head down the pan rubbing my belly.  Hearing either of the kids cry made it worse. Thinking about the drive home made it worse.  Thinking about bed time routines made it worse. OH ended up loading the kids in the car and driving them round the block in an attempt to get O to calm down…and knowing he wasn’t in the house made it worse…EVEN THOUGH HIS MOTHER SAW ME IN ACTIVE LABOUR!!!

Now I’m back to square 1.  I think it might be time to go to the Drs.

First comes love…

Then comes marriage.

Then comes mummy with a baby carriage…

So, our friends who got hitched recently have announced they’ve had a 9 week scan. They’re aware it’s still early days and it’s a second scan, but I have my fingers crossed for them.

She kept posting on facebook about how sick and tired she was so I guess we (or at least I was!) expecting it.

Interestingly enough, the date of conception works out to be their wedding night! Woohoo.

Anyway, I don’t have a lot to say tonight really…so tired!

My poor midwife.

I thought that things were supposed to be easier second time round? Well things like feeding and fitting in sleep have been (with her I literally didn’t sleep for days as I was so worried about her.) but I’ve also had to make some calls to the midwife.  Here’s a list of the reasons I’ve woken her up/asked OH to phone her this time round:
Bleeding at 6 weeks pregnant.
To get the phone number of the Early Pregnancy Unit to cancel a scan
Bleeding at 16 weeks
Bleeding at 18 weeks
Throwing up followed by being unable to see at 35 weeks
Early labour
Established labour
Newborn projectile vomit
Passing a large clot

I’m hoping there won’t be any more before I’m discharged to the health visiting team.  This time has been much more dramatic than last time!