I was bullied through school, although I can’t remember exactly when or how it started. Maybe I’ve blocked it out. Maybe it was just so insignificant that I didn’t really make a memory of it.
I know there was a group of friends and I became caught up with them. I got close to one of the girls. Maybe the jealousy started it. I don’t know.
I read that bullies often accuse the bully of being a victim. This definitely happened. I was dragged into the deputy heads office accused of all sorts of horrible things against 6 other girls. Me?! Yes, I’m ranty. Yes I’m a bitch NOW, but back then?! Well, I had a mean steak. We all did, but I was mostly meek and scared. I could have said something, although my mind was so frail that I would have been totally incapable of verbally abusing anyone, let alone being a long standing bully to 6 girls who were both considerably bigger and considerably stronger than myself.
I got suspended.
That was the first time.
The second suspension came after I snapped after 3 years of being told I was skanky, smelly, had fleas, hated. I had been scratched and thumped in passing. I had had my hair pulled, told things I don’t remember (I have blocked out a lot of things from before I was 16.) I remember being terrified to go to school incase they said something.
Then one day, the ringleader was laid on a table in the form room. I went in there to speak to someone else. I was with my friend who happened to have red hair. Ringleader relished this opportunity and thought she was being clever. I belted her one.
Not my finest moment.
Still, I don’t remember when I went from being friends with them to being universally hated. Sometimes I do wonder if it was me putting my foot in my mouth. Other times I realise that nothing I did or said would have changed what happened back then.