Tag Archives: friendship

For a friend

who thought I was annoyed with her.

I’m so glad we chatted again tonight. I missed you.

I must have dreamt sending the reply.  I’m shit at staying in touch with people.

Bingo next week if we can keep the babies quiet for a couple of hours?

 

Admiration for a mother – Part 2

Women, especially mothers, do things which are admirable all the time.  A lot of the time these things go uncelebrated.

Today I am going to celebrate one of these ladies.

A fellow tweeter and one of the original #3amfc peeps, this wonderful mummy has been through one of the worse things imaginable.  She has come out the otherside. Not only that, she’s still got her wicked sense of humour (but hopefully not her arsefringe!).  She shows incredible strength and courage and talks openly about her experiences.

She’s also blooming hilarious.

Jo, this post is for you, with love. We’re not going anywhere and we’ll be here when you’re ready.

If you would like to find out more about Jo’s story, her blog can be found here.

First comes love…

Then comes marriage.

Then comes mummy with a baby carriage…

So, our friends who got hitched recently have announced they’ve had a 9 week scan. They’re aware it’s still early days and it’s a second scan, but I have my fingers crossed for them.

She kept posting on facebook about how sick and tired she was so I guess we (or at least I was!) expecting it.

Interestingly enough, the date of conception works out to be their wedding night! Woohoo.

Anyway, I don’t have a lot to say tonight really…so tired!

An Odd reaction

When I was in Sainsburys I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a while.

Now, she’s always been a bit unconventional and not in the “dye your hair odd colours and live off an artists wage” way.  More in the “self-absorbed” way. (Coming from someone who writes a blog purely so she can bitch about how life is so cruel this is rich, I know. But this is my blog and I will write what I like!)

I was on my way in, pushchair loaded with children, when I saw her at the self check-out.  I couldn’t decide whether to talk to her or not.  One day I’ll go into the history behind my friendship, but this is not that day.  Remind me though.  It’s another self-indulgent ramble.

Anyway, turns out I didn’t need to make that call as she came over to say hi.  I’m not entirely comfortable when this happens and I tend to get a bit hypersensitive.  (Really?! I hear you cry. You?! Oversensitive?! I don’t bloody believe it!  Well, it’s true.)

Me: hey!

Her: hi! Is this number 1 or number 2?

She points to The Toddler

Me: Number 1. Number 2 is under there.

I point out the much hated baby under arrangement.

She smiles and says “I’ve gotta go, I’m on my way to a funeral.”

“Oh no!” I say, pulling my I’m so sorry face. I hate saying I’m so sorry. This comes from when I used to work at British Gas. Obviously, when you’re dealing with gas and electricity bills, you have people tell you that the owner of the property they are calling about has passed away. You are trained to say “I’m so sorry”. For this reason, I just cannot say it. It sounds so trite. I’m not very good with grief anyway. One day I will talk about my highly inappropriate reactions to emotions, but not today.

Back to the story.

In response to my poor response about the funeral, she goes “yeah, it’s a bit sad. Anyway, gotta go.” and dashes off.

A bit sad?

I need not have worried about my “Oh no!” *sympathetic face* if she was just going to be “a bit sad” about it!

The Change from the beginning

The big day looms.  Our household of four is soon to become 5.

NOOO I’m NOT having another baby (yet – still have to persuade OH!)

Our friend is moving in with us.

Today I’m going to talk about WHY.  And the WHY is The Big Change.

2011 has turned out to be the Year of Change for our little group of friends, but The Change is part of a chain reaction which I actually kicked off 5 years ago.

When I met OH and we were working in the same place (oh yeah…I will have to tell you about this too) he was in the process of buying a house with his best friend S.  His best friend is in the army and was getting posted out across the world regularly.  When he came home, he would stay with OH’s mum and dad (where OH was also living) so they decided it was time they bought a house.  The arrangement suited them as it meant that OH could get on the property ladder and S would have somewhere to go when he came home.

I didn’t live with OH and S for a long time.  I moved in, and then moved back out again after a fight with S (he actually asked me to come back – not OH).  they paid the mortgage and I rented a room from them.  It worked well…until I got my first blue line on the pee test.

It wasn’t really practical for us to continue living the way we were.  The house (we’ll call it AR) isn’t really the biggest house.  It had three bedrooms, but it was tiny.  It had a downstairs bathroom, which I hated.  Laminate flooring throughout.  It was basically a bachelor pad,  Fine for 2 men and a tom boy, but not so great for babies.  OH decided we would move.

We looked into the possibility of buying AR but quickly discounted that idea for the reasons about and many others. Then we looked at the possibility of S buying OH out and us moving.  The housing market had just crashed, which was highly unfortunate for this part of the transaction as it meant that there was no equity in the house and banks were lending much less.  OH was unable to remove his name from the mortgage as the bank would not let S take on the entire outstanding amount due to a shortfall of about £4000.  He also had to walk away from his initial investment of £10k.

It was a hard decision to make. even though S was paying the mortgage in its entirety after this, it was always a worry as once your name is on the mortgage, whether you actually physically pay for it or not is irrelevant.  If the payments go into arrears, it’s your neck on the line.  And there is no way to write your way out of this.  even if your solicitor writes you a letter to say you are not paying anything towards the mortgage, if it goes to court, you are still liable.  We asked.  It’s shit and was very scary for us as we were taking on another mortgage and couldn’t afford two if something went wrong.

As S didn’t want AR to be empty when he was posted, he asked one of our mutual friends N to move in.

I like N.  He’s awesome.  He’s a good guy.

Life carried on like this for a while and then S met L.

L is originally from Canada.  She’s a lovely, bubbly, very cute girl.  She fit straight in with  our group.  Funny, sweet and good for S, it wasn’t long before she moved in with them.  Then, around 3 months ago, S gets told he is getting posted to Italy.

He didn’t want to leave L here but the only way for them to go together was for them to be married. Cue The Wedding.

Now, N isn’t paying a massive amount of rent to S.  Afterall, he only has one room in the hose.  S knew he could get a lot more renting to a family so, after they couldn’t find anyone else to move in with N he is having to move out.  It made me sad to see the rental sign outside the house that was my home for two years before we moved here, but that is the way life goes.

N is now coming here to become our 5th member.