Tag Archives: family

Proper out

Innit?

I’m the least “Street” person I know, and the only time I’m cool is when I set the shower slightly too low.

My cousin had his birthday party yesterday, and, unlike my brother, invited all of the family (not just the members who make him feel young and are prepared to kiss his Golden Balls. Yuck. Mouth vom.)

It was symbolic for me, as after the weeks of feeling like I was losing my identity and looking grey on both the outside and the inside, I got to slap some make up over that shit, glue on a smile and pretend it’s all okily dokily, which sounds worse than it is because I got to be this:

image

Yeah! And who wouldn’t want to be that hot mumma for one night only?

Ok, maybe a bit over enthusiastic, but the point is that I looked passable and felt ok, actually.

My kids were well behaved (ish) and I didn’t embarrass myself (much). I mean, of course there was dancing, and maybe a bit of singing, even a little shock when Bro said he’d like to partay with his older Sis. (Oh, alcohol, you make people talk bollocks.) but I got to see my family, which is the most important part.

(And the looking good, obviously!)

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The secrets they keep

I’m in shock.

Someone I know has aggressive cancer.  Breast cancer. So aggressive they don’t think chemo will help.

She is having her breast removed.

It’s still a secret. I only found out because I asked a question at an unexpected time.

This changes Christmas. 

Fuck.

Why this needs to be done

The NaNoWriMo whispers have started.

Even though in not strictly doing NaNoWriMo, I’m using the challenge as an opportunity to write something. 

I started out thinking I would write about bullying and its effects.  Then I thought maybe writing about woman things might be better and easier as it’s very prominent in my mind right now.

However I spoke to someone very special yesterday and their son is struggling.  He’s a teenager going through things that adults find hard to deal with.  As a result, I’ve gone back to my original idea and I would like to dedicate my efforts to him and his family.

You are not alone.

Marriage

Something (or should I say someone) has been bought to my attention, which has made me feel a need to write about not being married and my choice to have my children outside of wedlock.

In 2008, I began planning our wedding.  We had been trying for children for almost a year, and we we’re just biding our time until we were due to be tested.

The date we picked was the 21st of September. We found a venue, sorted out food, found a dress.  Everything was just waiting confirmation when the funds slipped through our fingers and we realised it would be impossible to raise the cash in time.  So we put the wedding back a year.

I then found out I was pregnant at the end of December with a due date of 2nd of September. We knew then that our wedding would have to be put on hold.

Baby was born, money got tighter.

We decided at this point that we didn’t want it to be a big deal that one of our children had been born before we were married.  I mean, it’s not a big deal. But parents can be cruel and kids can get bullied as a result of these things so we made the decision to go ahead and have our second child.

Now, my own opinions on marriage are somewhat biased.  I don’t believe it is necessary to have a piece of paper to tell people we are in a relationship.  I have seen several marriages fall apart due to infidelity. If someone is going to cheat they will do it regardless of marital status, circumstance or even opportunity in some cases! Both my partner and I are free to leave the relationship at any time but stay together because we love each other.

Not saying I wouldn’t like a special day to celebrate our little family, but it can wait.

The one I won’t publish

So, it’s rare for me to retract posts, seeing as this is a no holds barred, say what you like and mean it arena.

However, due to me ranting so much recently about OH and this post about my bro, I have decided not to publish what I originally wrote for tonight.

Why?

Because it was about family stuff.  I don’t want to bore you with family stuff whan I have about a million other topics I could bore you with (well, poo, bodily functions, how useless men are and pictures of my kids doing normal stuff) and I don’t want to incriminate myself or any other members of my family.

I do feel a bit mean bitching about my brother like that to be honest.  He DOES have a heart of gold, and would do anything for any one of us if we needed it, but he also has a few anger issues which definitely need to be ironed out before they get him in serious trouble (ie fired.)

Anyway, tonight I am not going to post anything exciting.  Just this.

Enjoy your evening.

 

“The least jealous person I know…”

My cousin gets married soon. My brother works for her dad (my uncle). Her mother (Aunty MW) delivered my two babies.

My cousin said on fb that she had been called a spoiled brat at work.  Now, as she’s working with my bro and my other aunt and other aunt has commented “you said what?” I assume (yes, that makes an ass out of you and me. Sigh) that the brother had said this to my cousin. I post

Wtf? Jealous much?

Now that might seem horrid but my brother has some anger issues.  He’s managed to scare off two girlfriends with them and he states he rules his new household with an iron fist, instilling discipline and values in “his” children.  The children are his girlfriends from her marriage. Their father still owns half the house my brother lives in and sees them every weekend.  She doesn’t want any more children so it is unlikely he will have his own kids if he stays with her.

His girlfriend just posted “your brother is one of the least jealous people I know.”

I had to laugh. He is extremely jealous.  Of me because I have my own children.  Of my Uncle because he owns the business.  Of my cousins because of the way they live their lives.  Of everyone who has something he doesn’t have.

For the record it was my other aunt who started the whole thing and I openly retracted the comment.

I’ll be willing to bet that my brother and his gf will be gunning for blood now though.

It’s not just ONE thing…

I live for weekends. I love my breaks.  I love being able to spend some time cleaning the house without worrying about him screaming for cuddles or her drawing on the TV.

On Saturday, I woke up and came downstairs.  Normally, I would have done the washing up on the Friday night so it wouldn’t be the first thing I had to face on Saturday morning. Sadly, I had broken the discipline and decided not to do it.  I had been told it would be done, so when I came downstairs and was faced with it, I was not impressed.

I got a chance to go back to bed at 9.30ish and then was woken up at 10.10 to feed. O fell asleep so I rested and had a break until 11 30. I brave downstairs and he announces he wants a shower. He has shower then does lunch. He serves up beans on toast (bread not cut) and expects me to be able to eat one-handed while I feed O again.

Then he buggers off.  So I’m sat looking at my food going cold, O on the boob and her shouting “finished” and waving crusts in the air while he’s having a seemingly “urgent” conversation with our lodger.

I get to eat and he decides O needs to sleep so he takes him.  I then clean up my dinner stuff and sort washing out. Then I say jokingly we should go get an EEE Pad Transformer this afternoon.

He says “We could go get the pieces for the computer…” then disappears off to the other room to look on said computer for parts.

I was so fed up.  I wish I could just leave the room willy nilly and not have to worry about looking after two small children, but my life doesn’t work like that.  I have to schedule in time to clean  the house, or do the washing up/washing/cleaning when the children go to bed and I’m dead on my feet.

Sometimes I wish he could see it’s not just one thing that makes me snap, it’s the bigger picture.