My three year old (almost 4, going on 18) is naughty. She’s getting more and more naughty by the day.
The thing is, she’s not the kind of naughty you see other kids being in supermarkets (and of course, my childen are always on their beet behaviour in supermarkets. Toodle pip and bullshit!) but this all-new breed of cleverly twisted naughty.
We get the refusal to follow instructions – all kids do that – but Lily follows it up with a dose of Extreme Stubborn with added Martyr.
For example, as punishment for not cleaning up, we put all of her toys in a black sack to be “taken out with the rubbish.” She was, quite rightly, upset.
Not upset enough to tidy and the threats were soon met with her turning her back on us and saying
‘Just put them in the bin.’
Wait, this wasn’t in the plan.
She’s not supposed to reverse this shit on us.
The toys came back in.
She’s also become very rude.
She tells me to leave and go to my other house. She tells me what to do, counts to three if I don’t do it, lets me know that she dislikes me being here.
I don’t let myself wonder where these choice phrases came from though. There’s only one place.


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