What do normal parents do?

This week is my last week as a SAHM.  Next week I join the ranks of the BOTTOMs and see my kids as they wake up and briefly before they go to sleep.

I’m still not sure I like that idea, but anything is better than the grinding whinging that I have tolerated for the last ten months.  And that’s just from myself!

So, I’ve posted before about how being a SAHM isn’t the life for me.  Mainly because I have no idea what I’m doing.

I’m not a great mum.  I’m average.  By that I mean I get the job done. The kids are fed, watered and for the most part sort of cleanish.  I shout a lot, which isn’t good for anyone and I have a red hot temper which leaves me seething if she’s having a bad day.  Yeah, so not great.  But ok.

I don’t look like a mum.  You know you see some people, then you see them with their kids and they look comfortable, confident and as if they belong?  I’m not one of those.  I look like the teenager being forced to play with her siblings.  Or the cousin called in to babysit out of sheer desperation; obviously related, completely clueless.

Then there’s the domestic failure.

I don’t cook.  I have not baked since school and because of my weird relationship with food, cooking is not good for me. I can pull stuff out of the freezer and slap up a dinner if I really have to but I prefer not to have to handle the food before I eat it.  Cooking does not leave me with a satisfied smile.  It leaves me feeling a bit queasy and put off dinner.  I’m lucky OH likes to cook.

The less said about cleaning the better.  I’m trying not to look at my Cheerio covered floor.  I’m ignoring the nappies in the hall and shunning the scum in the bathroom.  All these things actually drive me wild, but I have a permanent attachment in the form of O which prevents me from doing them. I can tolerate the mess.  An hour of screaming – not so much. So I have no idea how normal mothers find time to do all these things. No idea.

Washing I can just about keep ahead of.  Shoving dirty clothes in a washing machine every hour isn’t hard.  Putting them away so they don’t cover every surface in the kitchen is another matter.  So again, we will avoid speaking about it.

I do craft.  I make jumpers.  Lots of jumpers.  I love making jumpers.  If you want a jumper made (to receive next year!) then I’m your girl.  See, knitting I can do while cuddling and feeding, sewing up needs precious hands free time.  Time which is at a premium. Time I use for hanging washing to stop it smelling, or for hoovering up Cheerios or putting the oven on.

I just want to  know what normal mothers do. How do they handle the tantrums? How do they find time to stop the house from looking shat in as opposed to just lived in? How do they manage to hold it together when they are slowly losing their identity?



7 responses to “What do normal parents do?

  1. I don’t have a toddler, so in 6-12 months I think I might have the same questions as you!
    I have been known to put Dale & Paige in front of the tv and whiz round cleaning the worst of the dirt in 30mins. I do the dishes when she naps. I put washing in the night before & set the timer, or I’ll forget to put it on. The jumperoo & CBeebies buys me enough time to cook dinner. If it takes longer than 30mins it must be a shove in the oven or slow cooker job.
    Getting out helps – if we stay at home my mind thinks I have all day to do stuff. If we’re put all day then I have much less time before hubby gets home, but I can get the same amount done!! Pretty much let the baby scream for 5mins if needed, then have a dance or play or cuddle, then do another 5 mins.
    This is not based on today. Today is a sleep deprived, snot filled write off. I won’t shower til lunchtime, dinner is from the freezer & requires no attention. The dishes will wait til tomorrow!!

    • Thats everyday for me. I managed to entertain O for 5 mins with the walker while I hoovered up the Cheerios, but now he’s screaming at me again,, so it’s time to put on Jezza and commence the all day cuddlefest that is time without L.

      • Jezza and a few toys on her blanket & I could whiz round doing stuff, going in & out of the room with no problem. I think O & P are 2 very different babies…

  2. I cheat and use the service wash at the laundrette, get the cleaner in, and plan meals down to a tee!! And there is no normal! I may look in control but it’s all a facade! I am a fake! Your kids are much more scrubbed and tidy than mine ever are! They are intelligent – L is articulate and fascinating! And I wish I had the skills that someone decided I was exactly who they wanted to employ! Maybe being you a bit will help?

  3. My response was lengthy so I have blogged it! What’s a BOTTOM??

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