Ideas and dreams

This morning, after Os 5am feed, I went back to sleep.  I know – lazy right?  I could have started some washing or done the washing up or cleaned out shithole of a bedroom in that time.

Alas, I didn’t.  I drifted back into the safe haven of dreams.

I quite like it there.  It is yielding some good results, probably as a side-effect of the mess my head is during the day.

At night I have ideas.  I find storylines buried deep in my mind.  I’m allowed to be magical and beautiful and ride around on a unicorn. Or whatever.  

Yesterday I asked for help. Not with stories or fantasies but with life.  I reached breaking point with the sick anxiety.  I went to the Drs.  I told him tearfully about my shitty week.

“Counselling or pills?” He asked.

“Pills.”  Fuck it.  I get a free massage every week, I know what things I need to do to make myself feel better, but I am absolutely shite at following my own advice. I’ve never opted for pills before. They’ve always been thrust upon me. This time is different.  This time I can’t cease to function.  This time I cannot end up with threats of hospitalisation.

So now I have a prescription for Sertraline.  A new one on me. 

Apparently it will stop my premature ejaculation.

I have yet to acquire the pills.  Just knowing they are there seems to be enough. 

I don’t want them to take away the dreams.

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3 responses to “Ideas and dreams

  1. keep dreaming hun.xxx

  2. every pill has it’s own devious fun … good luck with it. I hope Doc is going slowly with the dosage.

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