Total honesty

So, I’ve just come back in from my increasingly regular binge eating sessions. I’m upset so it was four biscuits, a Lindor, a chunk of cheese, some left over Quavers, a scone and a choccy Rocky bar.  Don’t worry, I’m a size 8, still breastfeeding, have a fast metabolism and will probably feel too nauseous to eat dinner.

Too honest?

Probably.

I’m all for honesty and telling it like it is.  I think people should be free to express their opinions and feelings freely in their little corner of the internet.

You know why?

Support.

How can other people know how you’re feeling if you don’t tell them? How can other people know that what they’re feeling is normal?  How can you find other people who get it if they don’t know what it is?

The problem we come across a lot as mothers is that there is a stigma.  There is a stigma about saying you can’t cope or that your kids make you so angry and frustrated you can’t see straight.  We are expected to go online and sing the praises of our children who have made our day miserable being bored, while we are lonely and actually just want a virtual hug and for someone to say “yeah, they grow out of that.”

You may think I focus too much on the negatives.  If you don’t like what I write, don’t read it.  The internet is my place to vent.  It’s the little space I have away from my kids where I can express just how much I hate being kicked in the face during nappy changes.  I do love my children.  And as I’ve said before, it is only because I love them so much that they can wind me up to the point where I want to turn my own face inside out. 

The reason people don’t say these things? Judgement, accusations of not loving their kids.

These judgements are why some women suffer in silence, feeling isolated and alone.  This is why some of us are medicated zombies, lead to believe that we need to put up and shut up because we wanted the children.

Sometimes people who should know better cast these judgements instead of offering an ear and a cup of tea.

You should never be ashamed of your feelings and you should never ever feel like you can’t express them freely. You’ll be surprised at how many other voices will say “me too!”

Advertisements

7 responses to “Total honesty

  1. It’s refreshing to come across who tells it like it really is. But I know many won’t appreciate such honesty.

    My sister used to have a very understanding doctor who used to say that no one understands just how much motherhood takes out of a women. Very often leading to mental distress and physical illness.

    I agree, no one sees it or gives a dam. You had a baby so the attitude is you had deal with it. We supported our sister a lot. She lived with us and had twins. Very often we saw the stress she was under even after having all of us rallying around her.

    Those girls are now in their early 20’s and are total angels.

    We look at those stressful moments now with love and fun. You do get past it and they do grow out of it. You have your space to vent your frustrations and feelings and so you should.

    There are good days and bad days… Chin up Hun and keep marching. 😉

    • I accept that there are people who will be saying put up and shut up. It was more the method used to say it which infuriated me.

      It does make me sad that there are people out there who feel that they just can’t express these things because they are scared that people they care about will say “just get on and love them.”

      It has nothing to do with whether you love your kids. It has everything to do with finding a coping method that gets you through the crappy days.

      Well done to your sister for raising great kids and well done to you for being there when others choose to walk away!

      • I bet there are days you look around you and everything needs done and nothing gets done. Their needs and demands are never ending. There’s not a moment to yourself at times, not even to go to the loo.

        I’ve been brining up my brothers kids for the past 3 years. I’m truly there with you.

      • Exactly! You can’t stop them wrecking the house just because you need a pee! It’s rare I get things done at the moment, which adds to the frustration.

        Fair play to you for bringing up your brothers’ kids!

  2. People have accused me of being honest. As long as I’m not rude or offensive to anyone, what does it matter? You’re right, I need the support – how else can I talk about my marriage issues and get such positive and affirmative comments back about it?

    Keep it up 🙂 X

  3. my hubs says Im too honest, but at least what you see is what you get, and anyway whats is wrong with admiting you need help or support

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s