Today I heard something that made me seethe. I’ve talked about bullying before but now I’m going to talk about the side you don’t always see… the aftermath.
Everything we do, see, say and hear has an effect on both our physical and emotional well-being. We are creatures of ego and without any ego, we are broken. We need ego. We need to be proud of something, feel accomplished, feel appreciated and accepted and loved and valued and we need to believe that we are worth the value, trust, appreciation and acception. If one of these building blocks fails, we stumble. If all of them fail, we’re in trouble.
The thing is, it’s such a delicate balancing act. It only has to be a failure of one building block in one aspect of our life to throw us into emotional mayhem and to damage the self. This is what happens when we are bullied.
You see, most people can withstand one, two, three, or a few digs at their core. If in jest, we can (most of us) take more. But when the digs become constant attacks we begin to question ourselves and a block shakes loose.
When someone is so vindictive towards the self that it destroys something they love, the effects are devastating.
Take for example, person A mentions the way person B looks daily, person B will begin to question the way they look. This has a knock on effect on the ego and the block is knocked out-of-place. This can then go one of three ways.
Person B can either ignore person A and carry on regardless.
Person B can work on the way they look to impress person A( although this scenario rarely results in the desired effect).
Person B can doubt themself ao much they feel the way the look has an effect on all the building blocks.
Which way it goes depends on how person B feels at the time, what their relationship is to person A and how easy it is to remove themselves from the situation.
The aim of bullying is to ultimately get a desired reaction, whether that be tears or the closure of a business. However, bullies are not usually aware of the longlasting emotional damage they cause each time they scathe.
And this…THIS is why it makes me so mad to hear of bullying. Any form of bullying. The damage isn’t always instant, but it’s always there. It may not manifest itself in the form of suicidal thoughts but it may halt someone from reaching their full potential.
But what if it does break someone? What if it shakes them to the very core and they start doubting everything. All the blocks crumble and self loathing slowly creeps in and takes over?
What if, in shaking that someone, it has a knock on effect on the lives of 14 or 15 other people and they start to suffer too?
What if the original person becomes so ill that they cease to function, become scared of the phone, panic if the doorbell rings, end up hospitalised through lack of sleep, not eating and a failed suicide attempt?
This is the serious side to bullying. This is the everlasting damage.
THIS IS WHY BULLYING MUST STOP. NO EXCUSES.