A look back at the week

On Monday I had a breakdown/breakthrough.

I got to the end and felt like I couldn’t take it any more.  I couldn’t cope, my head was spinning, I just wanted everything to stop.  Just. For. A. Second.

My Twitter friends really helped me and made me feel less isolated, and for this I am so grateful as the rest of the week has been pretty fab.

My daughter has only been screamed at once since then.  ONCE!! It’s normally once a day, but ONCE.  And it feels like I can do this.  I can look after her, even when she’s tired or being difficult.

Despite being up for an hour in the night and covered in regurgitated milk, I have had almost endless patience tonight. I feel more confident, I feel brighter.  I still feel the nervous energy swirling around but I’ve been using it to clean things so the house is coming together.  I’m also still feeling sick most of the time but that is another hurdle; I just have to stop focussing on it and try not to eat anything that draws attention to my digestive system.  I’m ok when I’m not thinking about it.

Anyway, I have to go now as I’m about to do a massage on a friend.  (NOT A EUPHAMISM)



5 responses to “A look back at the week

  1. Glad things are looking up. It’s tough being a mum (just look at my texts the other day!) but I know you can do it. And I’m pleased the course is working out for you. xx

  2. Your not alone, I have to say I wasn’t big fan of motherhood this week, were starting to experience tantrums in our house now (15months) and he’s been extremely hard work. Although it’s the best job in world it sooo the hardest….. your studying too I take my hat off to you.x

  3. Thank you ladies.
    No one ever tells you how hard it is. And if they do, you don’t believe them.
    Then you’re hit by the Toddler of Doom!

  4. Hello, im commenting.

    Hubs is talking to me and im ignoring him.

    This sounds bad but im glad you got to the breakdown/breakthrough point because once your’re there you have no choice but to deal with it, and once you have you can move on.

    Yay for toddler screaming once – we have toddler screams and baby screaming trying to be louder than the toddler so its very noisy.

    Is it possible to get addicted to paracetamol (me not the kids!!)

    N x

    • Yep, you have to get to the bottom and snap to start climbing back up. I seem to have almost endless tolerance now (for the moment.) I quite like this bit of pretending I know what I’m doing.

      Meh, if it cures the headache, it works. 🙂


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