It’s never simple

How how how did everything end up so complicated?

Is it any wonder I have “the mentals”?

Every day something seems to compromise my extremely delicate mental state.

Yesterday it was the lack of salonwear.

Then the rhyme time failure where some newbie, fresh faced teen mums thought that I was evidentally deaf and couldn’t hear them criticising me after the Toddler threw a library book.

Today it was not being able to park at the park…compounded by shitting it about tomorrow.  I’m not scared about class. I’m scared of not getting everything done.

And then topped off by both children refusing to eat.

You see, I need to get my kit tomorrow, after I haved fed O and tried to express off some fresh milk to go in the fridge.

Then lunch and more expression after his feed (if he sleeps) then cooking tea and getting him to nap until 6ish. 

I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if he’ll take it.  This is a very complex arrangement.  So complex that I’m getting a complex about it.

And there will be no one here to bring my shoes in so I’ll have to find time to go and get them.

Sigh.

Even the most simple things in my life become tangled little knots of crap that I have to unpick while getting kicked in the face. 

Fuckit

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2 responses to “It’s never simple

  1. Sounds like you need a bit of a pick me up, or a wee rest, but difficult when you have kids. Can you get a relative to come over and help with any of the mundane stuff for a day or two?
    When my 2 were much younger I told myself if I get the washing up done then I can say I’ve achieved something. But if not, then no-one is going to criticise me for it – otherwise they will never see another sunset.
    I can sympathise, and empathise to a part. I will never have to faff about with the breast pump paraphenalia although my job was cleaning it all. And at times I feel overburdened too and just want to scream! I too have depression and also feel weighed down by it all. And my toddler throws books and I get looks from the mums at baby rhyme time. Looks that seem to say ‘oooh look – he’s not coping.’
    A great post. 🙂

    • I’m just having a down day bought on by thinking about this evening and tomorrow. And she’s kicking off this afternoon so it’s making it worse.

      Mum is on holiday, OHs mum is busy packing for hers. Some days just drag don’t they?

      Rock – being at home with two whiney children
      Hard place – going back to work where my job is to get shouted,at when incompetents don’t do their job properly…and then take shit from incompetents.

      I’m in the middle, but rock kinda looks like paradise.

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