Something (or should I say someone) has been bought to my attention, which has made me feel a need to write about not being married and my choice to have my children outside of wedlock.
In 2008, I began planning our wedding. We had been trying for children for almost a year, and we we’re just biding our time until we were due to be tested.
The date we picked was the 21st of September. We found a venue, sorted out food, found a dress. Everything was just waiting confirmation when the funds slipped through our fingers and we realised it would be impossible to raise the cash in time. So we put the wedding back a year.
I then found out I was pregnant at the end of December with a due date of 2nd of September. We knew then that our wedding would have to be put on hold.
Baby was born, money got tighter.
We decided at this point that we didn’t want it to be a big deal that one of our children had been born before we were married. I mean, it’s not a big deal. But parents can be cruel and kids can get bullied as a result of these things so we made the decision to go ahead and have our second child.
Now, my own opinions on marriage are somewhat biased. I don’t believe it is necessary to have a piece of paper to tell people we are in a relationship. I have seen several marriages fall apart due to infidelity. If someone is going to cheat they will do it regardless of marital status, circumstance or even opportunity in some cases! Both my partner and I are free to leave the relationship at any time but stay together because we love each other.
Not saying I wouldn’t like a special day to celebrate our little family, but it can wait.