Not only are we almost at the end of my two weeks imposed SAHM -ness, I’m also at the end of my tether.
I wrote before about why I could never do it full-time. I change my mind daily about going back to work. I’m not sure which is worse. That’s horrible thing to say about staying at home with my kids isn’t it? I mean, I know how fast time flies. I should be cherishing every scribble on the furniture, every temper tantrum, every piece of computer equipment she expertly dismantles.
But I can’t.
I’m waking up at the moment dreading spending the day with her, knowing that my temper will only tolerate ten minutes of her being a disobedient diva before I snap.
Ok, it doesn’t help that from about 2am I go into a 20 minute feed, 30 minute settling 20 minute sleep cycle until 7.30. It definitely doesn’t help that the house constantly looks like mothercare exploded here and there are dirty nappies everywhere. The same load of washing has been hanging on the line for more than a week…
Which doesn’t sound massively odd for a house where the stay at home parent is still adjusting to two children, but we have a lodger. I want him to feel he can use the communal areas without feeling uncomfortable because they are a mess.
I think I shot myself in the foot by returning to work the first time. If I had always stayed at home, this would have been easier right? What other excuses can I use for my failure?