The time before the day before

OH was the Best Man for The Wedding and as such, it was his duty to arrange the stag night. The stag night was last Tuesday. Yes, the day before the wedding…

This time, the stag night consisted of a curry and a couple of pints in a local (So I’m informed) but last time…well, last time he went to a stag it wasn’t quite so simple.

It was in the days before children. I have always suffered from insecurity and depression, which was normally set off by my appearance and worrying I would never be good enough for whoever I was with.

This stag night was the typical stag night; meal, drinks and then strip club.

I won’t go into details about what other people got up to at this stag night but I do know that there were refusals for dances.

OH came home and I was already in bed. I asked him if he had had a dance and he said yes. Ok ten points for honesty, but really? I remember I smacked him. In fact, I flew at him, seeing red in that very instant. He went on to say it had been a topless dance purchased by his friend.

I asked why he hadn’t refused. He said he didn’t know.

That night almost ended our relationship. I stayed at the house that night and then packed my stuff and went back to mums. He didn’t get it. He didn’t get that one dance with some random girl dangling her (probably much larger than mine) boobies in his face had set me back about 5 years in my insecurities and it was going to take some hard work to rebuild.

I don’t remember how long we stayed away from each other. I knew I needed time to heal from this latest blow as I felt like I’d been betrayed, stabbed through the heart. I’ve always trusted OH implicitly and never thought he would have been able to hurt me like that. Then BAM. He did.

I tore up the cards he gave me, and threw my engagement ring at him.

Finally, one night, I relented and went back. We talked. A lot. We probably cuddled. We may have even taken it further. I don’t remember. All I know is that I’m still wary when a stag night is mentioned, even though my circumstances are totally different now.

I’m glad I went back. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have had my children, my house and a very supportive man in my life who may be lazy, but seems to agree with even my most hairbrained schemes!


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