Mummy Milk bar

Dear owner

I am writing to complain about the poor service I have received over the past 5 weeks from you.

If I scream it means I’m hungry and you should dispense immediately.   I have heard you claiming that you NEED to eat first or you shall starve.  However, if this continues, I shall be forced to poo more in an attempt to obtain full attention as I should be fed first and foremost before all others.

I have also heard you complaining that I am “messing about” when in fact I am preparing the dispenser for maximum dispensing effect.  If I then do not wish for it to flood my mouth, I do indeed reserve the right to let it spill on the machinery.

In future, please can you make sure that all pleas for opening, regardless of hour, are met with a prompt responsse.  If I can cope with having just two hours sleep between feeding then I’m sure you can.

Also, when I cry at night after feeding, please do not hand me over to the hairy one.  I will just continue to cry until you come and serve me yourself.  As you are surely aware I am a VIP and require attention from the company director, not one of the minions.

Kind regards

Oscar

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9 responses to “Mummy Milk bar

  1. Hahaha… Love it!

  2. that just transported me back 11 months! So true!

  3. Fantastic post, how you are so funny after these past few weeks god only knows. Love it.

  4. That is brilliant, sounds like a scene from Look who’s talking lol. Very funny post x

  5. LOL! “The hairy one” – so true! This is a great post. My husband recently asked if breastfeeding was a bonding experience for me. You know, it really isn’t. But one thing I take comfort in is that it is the nutrition my baby needs and this Mom’s Guide (http://www.1dental.com/moms-guide/) reports that infant formula contains sugar! I am not against sugar but don’t want to introduce it this early unless I need to. But sometimes I am really tempted to give it all up. Bottle feeding sounds so nice sometimes…. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Almost human haircut | Deskmonkeymummy's Blog

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