Announcing pregnancy

I always feel a bit odd when I see a pregnancy announcement that says whoever it is just got a positive test.  Not that I begrudge these people, but miscarriage is so common in early pregnancy I always feel a bit scared that they won’t make it to the 13 week mark.

It’s obviously completely personal choice when you announce and my own neurosis comes in to play when deciding to tell people, but we’ve always waited.

With my first pregnancy, we didn’t say anything until after the 13 week scan. Close family knew as I had issues with bleeding and was even rushed to hospital as a result. My line manager at work found out when i was 11 weeks as a result of my hospital visit. As you can imagine, it was a very tense time for us and we were highly aware that bleeding can be a big problem in early pregnancy.

My second pregnancy was not announced at all. In fact, we were shocked I was even pregnant again. The Toddler was 4 months old, I was breastfeeding and I had had one period. Then nothing…and a positive pregnancy test. We weren’t really ready for another baby, so when the bleeding started again at about 5 weeks, we feared the worst, but were also a bit relieved. I went for an early scan and it was revealed I had a blighted ovum. The sac measured 6 weeks and was empty. They told me to come back in ten days. I don’t remember those days. I was devastated. I convinced myself it was the sickness bug I’d had that had caused this. I kept hoping that when I went back, they would find something. Sadly, at the repeat scan, they found the sac had grown, was measuring 7 weeks, but was still empty. I opted for an ERPC to remove it as the other options weren’t suitable (you can’t take the pill while breastfeeding and waiting would have driven me insane as I was already in therapy for PND). I was just glad when the whole ordeal was over.

My third pregnancy started off the same,way, as before. Bleeding around 5-6 weeks. In fact, had it not been for my other half being particularly persuasive, I wouldn’t have known I was pregnant again. I was still breastfeeding (yeah, it is NOT a contraceptive!) and my body was still recovering from the operation. My monthlies were every 28 days, light, but lasting for 10 days and mostly made up of black discharge. I was convinced something was wrong, so I thought that after my September period, I would go to the docs and ask for a scan to check for problems.

My last period was 13th of August. On the 13th of September, I took a test and it was negative. On the 19th, OH convinced me to take another test in the morning. I got up at about 5 am and peed on a stick. It went negative for about two seconds, then went very positive. So he was right.

I didn’t say anything…for a couple of weeks and then the bleeding started. I had to tell my boss about the situation due to the potential for needing time of. He was surprisingly understanding and I went for a scan.

They found a sac measuring 4.5 weeks…and empty. I was completely heartbroken. How could the same thing be happening again? This time we had been ready to welcome new baby and we had been tricked. The sonographer was sorry that she couldn’t tell us anything else and advised that it was entirely possible it was still too early. Again, I had a ten day wait…

My rescan fell on the would have been due date for my second pregnancy – 11th October. I went along, expecting them to tell me the sac was empty and I would need one more scan before they booked another ERPC. I had warned my boss I would likely need an operation and we provisionally arranged cover and holiday as necessary. I laid on the bed and had an internal scan and…HEARTBEAT…YOLK SAC…CORPUS LUTEUM…it was all there. The whole shebang. I was actually pregnant. I spent the rest of the day on a high but still told very few people.

Around 9 weeks, I fell ill. A horrible stomach bug. I spent a night throwing my guts up and then bled. A lot. With pain. I thought that was it, and my MW was on hols at the time, so I just ignored it as best I could. If the bleeding or cramps got really bad, I would go to the hospital, but I would have rather dealt with it at home where I could call on my family and friends.

The bleeding didn’t increase, but carried on for four days. I decided to go to the drs. He expressed concern and booked me in for a scan. I was around 11 weeks at this time. The day of the scan I got up, dropped the Toddler off at the childminders, went to work, cancelled my scan appointment and sat at my desk crying. I had had a dream that I’d been told the baby didn’t have a heartbeat and I didn’t want to see that on the screen. I wanted to just wait it out and hope my body did what needed to be done. The hospital obviously didn’t know, so sent me an appointment for my nuchal. After 24 hrs of fighting with my OH about going, I finally relented, absolutely convinced the news wouldn’t be good, despite feeling the very distinctive heavy feeling low down resting on my bladder.

The scan showed everything was fine and I was relieved beyond belief. I went into work and announced that I was expecting. The bastards made me buy biscuits!

So, I always get a bit nervy when people announce pee sticks. Luckily, all the ones I’ve seen so far have been fine, but one day, one won’t and my heart will break for them.

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One response to “Announcing pregnancy

  1. Dude, that is a story with plenty of heartbreak. Thank goodness you have had some luck with your babies, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through and I don’t really want to. Funnily enough was talking about this very subject today with a friend who is 5 weeks pregnant. There is no major annoucement, only close friends/family know so that if the worst happens, she has support but won’t have to face the wider sphere of people. It’s easy to forget just how scary pregnancy can be – sometimes not the non-stop joyous occasion others presume it to be.

    I salute you for sharing, can’t be easy to write about such things. I wish you every happiness with your little ones, new and old 🙂 x

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