Everyone is doing it.

We are at home, my bros gf and I just waiting for labour.

I start having gentle,but regular contractions, so does she.  They have lost their mws number, so I give them one for a local mw I know called Tracey.  Next thing I know were all in a birthing room.  Loads of us.  My bro, my OH, mw, and a whole host of people I don’t know.  Bros gf is leaning against the mw, unable to speak to through the contractions.  We’re all gawping at her.  Her hair still looks perfect.  The mw tells her she’s ready and lays her down on the bed on her back to push and I think that’s odd.  She vomits on me and empties her bowels.  My own contractions are still too gentle.

“I’ll have to do this in a minute.” I say to OH but we both know I’m being optimistic.  It’ll be hours, days even before I’m at that stage.

Bros gf starts pushing and nothing happens.  She’s already had two kids, this should be easy.  Then I remember they were both c-sections and pushing is new to her.
Her baby decides its had enough and opens it’s bowels and we’re all just watching as they rush her to theatre.

I wake up.  Backache, braxtons, pain and remember that bros gf is not even pregnant, I don’t know any mws called Tracey…

But the uncomfortable feeling, you see that’s real. I look at the clock. 4.44. I count to thirty while my belly is solid and my back throbs. It eases and I get up to wee. Back to bed. 5.09 and here comes another one. The last time it felt like this was on the birthing ball after induction. I was 4cm dilated at the time. Again, thirty seconds. This is promising. 5.22 – another one. Ok, surely this is business. I should get some sleep. But it hurts. Don’t be a wimp. It’ll hurt more than this. A lot more. Sleep through this bit.

“Hello mummy!” My daughter is in my face and its 7.17. And…nothing. Nothing at all. Shower, breakfast, Tweenies…NOTHING!

I’m power walking to the shops later.

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