We always considered it might be an option before I had The Toddler, and I was beginning to think it might be worth considering again after baby 2 gets here, but the last week has just re-enforced that I’m not that kind of person.
I’ve had to look after The Toddler four days this week while OH has been at work. The horror. Four days of looking after my own offspring! It’s not that I dislike her, or that I’m trying to get rid of her, or anything like that, it’s just I find it hard to cope with her at the moment, seeing as she is into everything and I’m unable to move around. She also gets bored very easily and then starts to climb on me which is impractical. I’m not a massive fan of other children, and the mummy friends I have either have things going on or are too far away. To add to this, I was put off the local playgroups by a couple of not great experiences (mainly because of my mental state at the time, but that’s irrelevant and would just add to my discomfort were I to meet up with some of the women I used to go with) so I’m quite limited as to what we can do.
I’ve figured out at the key to being a SAHM is to not be at home at all! I managed to arrange something to do on all four days that would make the day slightly more interesting for the Toddler. Tuesday, we went to my Aunts and MWs, Wednesday I spent time with OHs mum and sister, Thursday we did a trip to the local pet shop, Friday I went to OHs mums house and let her run loose there and then had a friend over in the afternoon who was happy to help keep an eye on her. The house was somewhat neglected. The Toddler does have her jobs though which include cleaning her chair before meal times, emptying the dishwater and watering the very sorry looking bush at the end of our garden. Oh and she puts our socks away (in the wrong drawers.) I still don’t know how proper SAHMs do all the washing up, the cleaning, the hoovering, the sorting out and the bazillion other jobs and manage to keep their children from going insane. I’m guessing that’s something that comes with practise and/or a metric shit tonne of patience.
I still prefer the days I have at home by myself though, and depending on her mood, going to work! However, I think this week we have bonded a bit more. Maybe we were starting to drift due to my working hours and our weekend routine. The cuddles seem to be more of the “Mum, I want to be close to you” kind than the “MUM PLAY WITH ME NOW!” kind. I feel a lot more confident and relaxed than I did. I wouldn’t consider a SAHM role as I’m definitely one of those women who needs to be out at work, although I do appreciate her more now and it feels like we are a team trying to fight the day time boredom rather than two individuals who are just arguing to pass the time!
I’m currently considering goign back to work full time, but until that decision has been made, I will still have both children at home two days a week. I’m not too sure yet how that will pan out, but I’m hoping this week together has made us both a little more relaxed around each other.